Two years

The big TWO. I have gotten to a point in my life where I realize that I am growing up. 

Backtrack to a younger me, I made plenty of mistakes and I am glad to have had those experience to learn and grow. My beautiful girlfriend entered into my life two years ago, on September 5th, 2015. It all started with an unintentional Skype video chat – I’ll get into details about that at a later time.

With the two years we have been together, I can our relationship is not perfect. We have had fights, unnecessary arguments, and tears shed. We have had wonderful dates, smiles all day, endless laughter, and unconditional love. What we have gone through, these past two year, have built us to where we are now. I have no regrets. I know that being with this girl is the one decision in my life that was right. How do I know? I can feel it in my gut.

Thank you for the wonderful two years, and for many more to come, my beautiful angel. 

Scared and deserve it.

My wake up call of a lifetime. Many awkward conversations. One realization. People don’t deserve negativity in life, no matter who you are. 

Love and positivity is what this world needs. It starts with decisions in life. These decisions should not be taken lightly. Bad decision can create unnecessary situations. I try to make the best decisions in life with what I have. Somehow, I feel as if I do no good. I wish of a better day, today. I’ll feel better in time. I just need to get through this current speedbump.

Be open to decisions and understand

You will experience forms of negativity throughout your life. You will be afraid and that’s okay. There are others that share the same experience. Unfortunately, very few suppress the negativity. Instead, they reinforce it. There is no benefit. There is no purpose. There is only disappointment. You will never understand why it “needs” to be reinforced.

Fuck them. It’s cancer; how these people exist and think it is okay. Don’t confuse negativity with criticism or debate. There are always improvements that are necessary or valid points that are being made. But, to those who just think that everything you know or do is what everyone wants or thinks – that’s sad.

Not everything I say or do is correct. That’s okay, I’m open to hear what people think. I will try to understand you, as you, hopefully, try to understand me, and this is where a decision can develop. You can still choose to support your side, or you can choose the other. Either way, there is no wrong answer as long as you respect those who don’t have the same choice as you do. This shouldn’t result in hatred, fear, anger, or any correlated feelings. Just understand, and be able to move on. It’s okay. You have finally begun to understand why someone doesn’t want what you want.

Lets move away from negativity.

Decisions. Sometimes hard to make, many times very easy. But have you ever feel a time where you made a decision that you didn’t make yourself? As a kid, choosing your starting 5 when playing basketball at recess, or maybe what type of friends you want to have?

I feel like I was lucky. I met this goofy kid, while working in retail, but we worked different departments. I usually like to say hello to the new people who get hired because it helps with the communication as work (Which is necessary 100% of the time). Who knew that I would end up friends with this guy through a video game; in fact, a game that I never wanted at first. Destiny, on the midnight release, was bigger than I thought. Lots of people came into the store and purchased the game. We happened to sell a lot of energy drinks too (Not surprised). At the end of the shift, my coworkers went to buy their copies and recommended that I should get it. As reluctant as I was, I didn’t want to buy it. However, I somehow became very open to getting the game once I found out almost all of my coworkers had it. So, I said screw it…. and we played 15 hours straight. Dumbest and best decision I ever made.

Back to the goofy kid, we became better friends and was able to get to know his group of friends. The one thing that brought them all together? Cars. Another thing I was skeptical about. I loved cars as a kid and unfortunately lost interest growing up. However, after seeing everyone very happy and proud of the cars they owned, i said screw it… bought a new car the following day and never looked back. Long story short, those group of friends are now my very good friends and it’s nice to share a common interest.

Sure, I did make the decision to do all of these things; However, I also didn’t make any decisions at all – where I pretty much went with the flow. I was open to decision at these times, where I built my own curiosity. The “What if?” thing. Don’t be afraid to go with the flow. Sometimes, a decision is being made in front of you – and you unconsciously force a different decision. Be open to decisions, and understand those decisions. To the decision that you didn’t make, understand that decision and why you didn’t choose that one. Either way, you have made a decision and you continue on with life. Easy processes, no negativity, happy life.

Scooters

Having a great time with these 50cc scooters! For those of you that aren’t familiar to the cc measurement – it isn’t that fast of a scooter. However, it is very fun to ride! 

6 of us riding down to Fort Lauderdale and the view is amazing! I wish I stopped by a took a picture but we were on the move.

Best part, all 6 scooters costed less than $200 for the whole day! Groupon is GOAT.

As I lay here, FaceTiming the love of my life – I am missing home. And the fact that I have car parts waiting for me to install once I get back. Tomorrow will be a better day – my older brother’s is growing a year older and that means lots of food and fun! I guess I will say it early, but…. happy birthday big bro!

Family reunion

We made it! It’s not as sunny as we thought it would be. It’s raining. It’s pouring. More or less, there are old men snoring.

The beach house is wonderful, because we are near the shore and say hi to the people to boat down the strip. The best part to this vacation, is that our labradoodle is getting so much attention from tourists and locals. He loves it so much! Crazy enough, he has been spoiled a lot – with a $12 meal as the record so far. But, we love him. He’s family and we all eat good.

Today is a simple day – we travel down to south beach to have lunch with the whole family and take a boat tour of the city. The only thing that can top today, is if Bernice from South Beach Tow comes and we get her autograph!

Maki Ramen 

This is the first time I have eaten ramen, besides out of a styrofoam cup. It looked very close to what you would see in Naruto. Especially those Narutomaki, those fancy pink and white swirl pads,  it’s fish paste that takes pretty good.

A whole bowl of soup, ramen, mushrooms, half a boiled egg, bulgogi, and a strip of seaweed wrap. One must be crazy to not eat this delicacy.

Maki is quite small, the size of a boba shop, but with all the amazing flavors. This might be our designated ramen shop (I’m lying. I’m always willing to try other places).

If you are in the area, give it a try!

Lardarius Webb Charity Softball Game

Football players playing softball. Quite the show, but a very fun time indeed! The charity helps support family’s with low income/homeless and help with food, finding shelter, paying bills, etc.

It’s good to give. 

Thank you Baltimore Ravens for the awesome game and I hope the best for this upcoming season! All in all, I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend!

Vacation time

Good Lordy, the moment is coming near. A week of no stress, a loud family, lots of food, and good times. 

Come to think of it, I haven’t seen my whole family in a while. I’m sure I’ll be playing 21 questions with them all vacation. Where do you work now? Do you have a girlfriend? How is she? When are you going to get married so we can go to a wedding?

People say that these type of questions annoy them… to the point where they have memes specifically for these questions! I like it when I am asked about my life. It gives the satisfaction of knowing that my family cares about what’s going on in my life.

Family. Don’t take them for granted. Gotta love em.

Alone

Many times in life, I have moments of feeling alone. It could be on bad days, and even good days. Why do I let this happen to myself? The real question is, what can I do to make me happy?

As I stare at my phone, I begin to overthink about my life. Will I really make my parents proud, will I get to have a family, will I make a good living where I can support myself and my family, will I be happy? 

I see myself in the reflection of a bathroom mirror and I see hope. I see a guy that has gotten this far in life and that can continue to do more if he tries. I can see happiness. I just can’t feel it.

I have met many people who hide themselves from the fact that they are vulnerable – that they are really scared. I’m scared too. I’m scared of not having a better future. And that’s okay. 

I think back to history class in high school. King Leonidas and the fierce 300 in the Battle of Thermopylae. They faced much worse. The is no way in hell that they weren’t scared but they fought anyways because they knew the bigger picture. They have the future depending on them, Sparta depending on them, family depending on them. They fought till there was no more fight in them. 

I’m writing to say that I am scared, but I can fight through it. This is weak shit. I need to pick myself up and move forward once again. I will have to fight this feeling everyday but I know it’ll be worth it. I can work hard for my happiness. Best of all, I have a family and a group of amazing friends that I know will and has always supported me. I can be happy. A little faith can bring you a long way. 

You are never alone. It’s time to pick up the pace.

Stick to your true intentions

It’s sad to say that most people like to create negativity in their environment. I’m not talking about a couple of jokes from friends – I’m talking about bullying. Bullying can be a very broad term, often looked at as “being weak”, but it’s goes much further than just a word. 

You hear stories on the news that kids are commuting suicide because of classmates saying that they don’t like how the kid looked or how he spoke. The worst part, many parents decide to push the behavior aside. I’m not telling those people how to raise their kids, but if they are becoming such a nuisance and causing trouble, that should hopefully trigger your “parenting instinct” and help you take action. Many issues can be often avoided; unfortunately, It’s just that many people decide they have far better things to do in their life. Those being bullied, stay in there and keep your head up. You aren’t alone, and someone out their cares for you and loves you. 

Beside that, almost all of us are victims because we bully ourselves. We see other people with the $1000 jacket, or the yeezys, or Gucci flipflops – and we HAVE to buy them. Why? You want to look like you have a lot of money? Honestly, that is okay because those are your intentions – but please don’t regret your decisions. Pay your rent first, keep a roof over your head, put food on the table, etc. If your intentions are to get people to think you have money – than so be it, but do not act like a victim when you were given the opportunity to invest your money to a craft, to a charity, to your personal health, your future business, your art, etc. Let’s prevent this bullying to ourselves!

I can’t lie, at first, I wanted all of the clothes and shoes that celebrities wore. It was until I had to pay bills, when I first got a job at age 15, that took me to realize that it is a chore to want those things. I would have to work 40 hours a week, 8 hours a day, for at least 3-4 months, after paying my bills and taxes, to afford just one of those items if making $9 an hour). I also realized that if I did purchase said item, I would be back to $0. Broke. Done. Just because I tricked myself to thinking that if people saw what I wore, they would like me better. I’m blessed to have family members tell me that it would be the most idiotic decision to ever make. So I took their advice.

But don’t you buy car parts? What makes that any different? The thing is, I can afford them now. I can make these purchases, afford a home, own a car, and put food on the table. Aside from that, this is my art. I have always loved the ideas of how cars are just a sold canvas that needs a bit of modification to bring out it’s true colors. And if it can support the way my car can drive (because it is a daily car) than I will make the investment. 

In the end, that is my true intention. I want to build this car as if I am painting the modern Mona Lisa. This is my Mona.

Stick to your true intentions, for the betterment of yourself and others, and you’ll generate a life of happiness for yourself and possibly for those in your environment.